Category Archives: Play

Ludo, ludare, ludology.



A Gravitron-style ride from the “Roman Festival” which used to mark the Ides of March on our events calendar, this never-popular attraction has made a triumphant return!

While waiting in line, television screens periodically feature Caesar’s wife Calpurnia, pleading with riders to turn back because she’s had dreams about them vomiting to death, or telling the riders she knows about their foul designs (also from dreams) and that she curses them to spin around and throw up until they’ve vomited to death.


It is somehow about Julius Cesar, though our records are vague about whether guests are meant to be Caesar at the moment of his death, or the stabby conspirators.

Riders are strapped to the inner walls of a big spinning thing and are meant to enjoy the novelty of being pinned there by centrifugal force (in this case, three times as strong as gravity).

Featuring Laura Cornelius as Calpurnia

Collective Chrome Hideout

We are Collective Chrome, the marauding GANG (yes, GANG) of cinephiles. You found us.

We’re the dangerous element what loiters ’bout this park, you’ve heard of us. We live in this HOLE here, see? Behind the painted faux-old-Hollywood facade. It’s SYMBOLIC. And now you know too much. Not so fast, you’re not going anywhere.

What Hollywood throws away, that’s the real treasure. Like this… this is a screen test–SIT BACK DOWN, don’t make me threaten to threaten you (which I wouldn’t do because I’m a pacifist.) Look at our makeshift movie screen. There’s an ACTRESS for you. A _real_ actress.

This is Miss Sandy Dennis’s screen test for Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf. And we’re gonna screen it for you. And then you’re gonna GET OUT, and you’re going to tell EVERYONE YOU MEET that SANDY DENNIS is the BEST FUCKING ACTRESS this SHIT-WORLD ever SAW!

[If we weren’t pacifists, this is where a threat would go.]

Fiberglass Witch

Here an old woman stares all day at her old television, which is switched off (nor does this stop her from laughing at the jokes.) Some passers-by try to get her attention, but she won’t look away from her TV… perhaps she’s deaf?

Ah what’s this? Look closer, and you will see your future!

1. Think of a question.
2. Press play.
3. Wait until the skulls stop spinning & the screen says to put your hands on your buzzer.
4. Close your eyes
5. Press pause within the 12 seconds that a the Elm Woman’s prophecies are flashing on the screen.

If you’d like to watch TV with her for a spell, you should by clicking on this sentence.


As the roster of Raydeolenta programming expands, segments will be pushed toward the end — so, when the next segment arrives, it will play first, then the segment that preceeded it, and so on… this being the first segment, it is the only one, and it’s… staggering. Time Atlas and Aulinta proudly present: The Bimbo from Limbo (a 100% sincere young listener’s program meant to give hope to sick children)

Fiberglass Pirate

Find the secret entrance to the thieves’ cave!

NOTE: There were lots of interactive clues in this area, including a sundial and an astrolabe, but they have been stolen by thieves. If you find the thieves’ guild, please ask them to return those items. (Is this a treasure map?)

Near the base of this statue is a button & sign:

The Shore

Access to The Sea comes from this place, though the paper mache oceanfront is blocked off by a velvet rope. The only accessible thing here is a door, leading down into the false sand, bearing the words “Employees Only” — does that mean you? Time Atlas Park, of course, considers itself in collaboration with its guests, so, from a certain point of view, that could mean anyone.

Space Werewolves: Return of the Shaman

The Nebula area of Time Atlas Park re-opens (finally!) in its once-familiar location just beyond the Obelisk of the Grape Empress. After almost a half-century of disuse, a re-imagined Space Werewolves ride is the first attraction in the refurbished area to be made public.

The old “Spacewolf” ride featured an upsetting storyline wherein riders hunted the indigenous werewolves of outer space, in particular their Shaman, VoidScar. Instead of rebooting the story, Time Atlas prefers to acknowledge the misguided anti-wolf storyline from its past, and try to make amends with this sequel: Riders now team up with their old Shaman-adversary when the Alpha of the Pack is injured by space poachers. Will Voidscar the Shaman accept your allegiance? Even if he does, are you fast enough to do anything? Even if you are, will you choose to save the Alpha, or exterminate the poachers? Are you really crazy enough to try and do both??